I know I haven’t written in a while. I know that things have been hectic, and I’ve dealt with a lot in the last month since I’ve posted.
But, right now, I’m feeling… happy.
I just got back from an impromptu coffee date at one of my new favorite coffee shops (because it’s open 24/7) with one of my “new” close friends. We had a good time, talking, making jokes, and now I’m home, drinking sweet tea, catching up on Parks and Recreation (great show, by the way), and I feel it. I feel the sort of happiness that has been eluding me for the past month. I feel so content, in my choices, in my actions, and in the love I’ve received.
And I’ve received a lot of love, lately. I’ve been talking a lot to my parents, I’ve been getting lots of support from friends and teachers and others, and lots of kindness from strangers as well. But it’s also been difficult. There’s been a lot of stress, lately, and lots of change that I’ve been trying to navigate. My 18 credit semester is catching up to me, and I’m beginning to wish that I hadn’t said “yes” to as many extra-curriculars as I have.
Now I’m in the midst of Holy Weekend, which means lot of church, the week before
Hell Tech Week, after which I have a weekend of shows (for the Musical I’m in, and also the reason for Tech week), a performance of the national anthem at a Lacrosse game, my confirmation into the Catholic Church, a voice recital I’m participating in, my audition for the performance major at my school, and then my MC/DJing an event for the Violence Prevention office at my school.
But that cup of chai, those moments of laughter tonight, coupled with the driving, and singing, and watching Netflix afterwards… I feel okay with all of this.
I feel the kind of warmth that I usually need whiskey in order to feel. Everything is… okay. But it’s better than okay. It’s good. I’m good. Thank you, friend. Thank you, parents. Thank you world. Thank you, God.