After a Weekend of Crying

So, I’m back from Kairos. I’m a strong believer in the secrecy surrounding Kairos, because how is something supposed to be amazing if you know exactly what it entails? Though sometimes in knowing there is also the opportunity for life changing experiences. Still Kairos always seems like the kind of thing that’s better off not knowing before you go. In trusting there is a lot of good to be gained.

With that said, I do want to say that, even after three Kairos retreats, one of which I led, this experience was still beautiful and possibly the best so far? I know that there’s a lot of possible reasons as to why. I thought that there wasn’t much left for me to be moved by, yet somehow my heart has been opened up even more than before, and filled again with the grace of love. I cried a lot.

Like, a lot.

Maybe every 90 minutes or so? I mean, sure I cry a lot anyway. I made a joke that sometimes I cry during the mass because I’m just so moved, and that’s the real reason I like sining in the choir, because I get to sit in the back, and be heard and not seen, and thus heard in singing and not seen in my crying.

I did cry a lot, because there was a lot of pain, in the stories told, and also a lot of love that was shared and beauty that was experienced.

I do also have my newest Kairos cross, which is somehow the biggest of the three, though that doesn’t surprise me at all. This Kairos cross, specifically a Jerusalem cross, is very dear to me.

I just want to thank all the leaders, and my fellow retreatants, as well as everyone whose love and effort went into making this retreat everything it was. Thank you so very much!



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